Tiny snippets out of the heart of a mother.

I lay blue-purple bruised, with cuts and scratches all over me, where the enemy had a go at me. Feeling broken, with despondency knocking at the door, I felt incapable of mothering in this state. The aftermath of a battle is never pretty. I wanted to run to Jesus and just soak Him up, but I felt drowned duties and responsibilities. Overcome with desperation for Jesus, desiring to be picked up and lay my head on His chest to be soothed. Exhausted from the mental toll of mothering, I can finally quiet down and talk with my Heavenly Father, but I dose off, just to awaken some hour or so later to nurse my baby. Continuing: "Lord, today..." dozing off again. A repeat of this a few times during the night, when daybreak comes, I start my day a bit foggy from lack of sleep. There is no break from mothering. I choose to see it as an honor and privilege, that God trusts me with this great task at hand. He knows where my character needs shaping.

Motherhood is so much more than just raising kids. It's about discipling, living the example, loving and giving of yourself continuously. Dear moms - we all struggle, we fall, try our best with what we have and sometimes feel as though we fail miserably. This is an impossible road to walk without Jesus.

A wise mentor told me that if you plant good seeds in your child, the basket will come back filled with good fruit. As parents, we need to tirelessly invest and consistently cultivate our kids with sweat, tears, love, and prayers. If we don't invest, labor, and endure, we will harvest thorns and give account to God for how we raised His children.

I find myself falling short more often than I would like to, but at the mercy of my failings, I look to God to show me the way. If our kids were perfect and did everything right, there would be no realization of the need for a Savior. God blessed me with 4 kids to keep me humble, a daily reminder that it is His grace carrying me, Him doing the work and not me. I am only but an instrument...

2 Cor12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weakness, so that the power of Messiah may dwell in me.

Sitting in the Doctor's waiting room with a sick baby, feeling overwhelmed and conflicted. I open this book next to me and this random passage pop up: "DALK WIL GOD NIE VANDAG VIR JOU BEVELE GEE NIE EN DALK IS JY VANDAG BROOS EN BLOU GEKNEUS GENOEG, DAT HY LATER OOR JOU SWAK HUMEUR MET JOU SAL PRAAT. VANDAG WIL HY NET 'N VERFRISSENDE NARTJIE UIT SY WOORD VIR JOU VOER." I managed to fight back my tears, in awe that God sees me in my struggles and failings.

This letter is to encourage every mom reading this blog. Let us seek out what God has for us as mothers. Ask Him for Godly principles in His Word. Prayerfully take each child to God and ask Him what that child needs and also to equip us with the how. Speak life over our situations and children so that we will look different to the world. Be a light bearer 💡🐻

It took me, what seems forever to write this story. I was growing while this story was taking shape. I took the walk up to the cross overlooking Lambers Bay - Beautiful scenery - to write this story at the feet of Jesus, but it wasn't time yet. Today, as Spring arrived. I finally got time to finish up. I hope you enjoy the read and feel encouraged 💪

Jesus love

Elmi