In between the testimonies...

Everyone loves hearing awesome testimonies, but rarely of the hardships, sacrifices and emotions it took get there. As I'm writing about our journey, it feels like blood and tears streaming from my hand unto paper. Then I got a vision. This is nothing compared to Jesus sweating blood in the garden of Gethsemane, beaten, torn flesh, pierced and nailed hands & feet, stripped of all...

After we sold our home, the BIG scaling down began. People ask me how I did it. The answer is prayerfully. I'm not going to lie. It was painful. With every little piece of possession going, I felt God stripping me of pride, comfort and stinginess. At times I was so overwhelmed, I had to pause, take a breath and try deal with the reality of it. I barely had time to process, then the next stripping would start. Eventually it started to feel like freedom and relief, just to flip to a burden,because it felt like the stuff got babies, just as I made progress. Doing this while homeschooling, breastfeeding an infant and a toddler unpacking as I try to pack. Some days I just felt plain disheartened!

I thought it is never going to end and if it does, will it be in time? BUT God is so faithful in even the small stuff. As I was at my lowest and felt I couln't go on, He sent me a friend with exceptional organising skills, whilst keeping me sane!

Letting go of the sentimental stuff and stuff that you know, earned with sweat and hard work over time, was most painful. I had to bite my lip and fight back tears every time. Trying to hold myself together and stay strong for the kids, when all I wanted to do was sit in a corner and cry. This was only possible through Christ who strengthened me and earnest prayers from fellow sisters in Christ. I could literally feel His spirit carry me through hard days. My kids started dealing with the reality of going and no longer having a home. One evening after a meltdown, my daughter and I just cried in each others arms, not really knowing how to comfort her, because I was dealing with the same emotions.

Finally there we were, 2 months later. Our whole life packed up in a caravan, ready to go. Realising that the hard part is still ahead, adjusting to our new life. So stay tuned for episode 2: Adjusting to our new life...

Song: "Lay it all down (Whatever it takes) by Lindy Conant